Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
a search helicopter?!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
