girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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