I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
