so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
and she was petting her beer can
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
