Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
