how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
