Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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