Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
