I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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