I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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