yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
