Michael Bay diarrhea
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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