lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
