Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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