I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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