i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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