I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
