you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize