We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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