I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
