Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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