Christians are straight up FREAKS
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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