I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
whose ass print is on the piano?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
