Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she told me i tasted like america
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
