I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
