I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
