If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she pinky promised me she was 18
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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