We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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