i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
