my room smells like sperm. sweet.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
