she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
