So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
