like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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