I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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