Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
