That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Drake has all the answers
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
