Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
