Soap is not a condiment
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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