I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
