Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
