You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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