Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
