South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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