his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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