party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
