I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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