Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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