i already hear my dad disowning me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
