i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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