11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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