i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
