CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
