I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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