is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
