This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
