Swine flu. Run for my life!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
