Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
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What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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