Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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