Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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