i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
