Only a mothe r could love this liver
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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