I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
