i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
