dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
