There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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