I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she smelled like a LAN party
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
