OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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