Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
